Full disclosure: I adore the Jurassic Park series.
I still remember the first time I saw the original flick in 1993.
I was eight or nine, carried off an unfortunate post-80s bowl haircut with reasonable aplomb, and I saw it with my dad and younger sister in an outdoor cinema during a wild and windy night at Wilsons Prom in Victoria.
We were camping and I still have vivid memories of being terrified a T-Rex would wander out from the eucalyptus forests and gobble us up while we slept.
The trepidation, mixed with sheer excitement at the possibility of seeing a dinosaur in the flesh, was intensified by the memory of our torch, which dad had tied up to the top join of the tent, swinging wildly in the weather and casting shadows of dubious character over the canvas.
This time there were no stars, wild winds or outdoor cinemas with rickety camp chairs.
The setting was plush: Reading Newmarket’s Titan Deluxe.
However, that time at Wilsons Prom that will always have a special place in my heart: A bit like the Jurassic Park series.
No matter how dubious the science, the franchise manages to get another reboot across the line through sheer implausible, action-packed entertainment value.
I have to give director JA Bayona and writers Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow kudos because the opening and closing of this film are first-rate.
The opening is a fantastic nod to the original series and hits you between the eyes with its references to natural selection and Darwinism at work.
It’s edge-of-your seat stuff and I was laughing maniacally as it came to its (inevitable) conclusion.
The closing sequence is chillingly narrated by chaos theorist Dr Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum), in a brilliant summation of the new world order.
Both are great bookends to what is sheer jurassic fun.
We pick up a few years after the disaster at the Jurassic World theme park, caused by the manmade dinosaur Indominus Rex.
The prehistoric creatures face a new threat: A fiery volcano is predicted to erupt and wipe dinosaurs from the earth a second time.
We meet up with former park employee and reformed workaholic Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard), who is lobbying to save the dinosaurs from Isla Nublar before the volcano blows.
Her campaign takes place amid a nation-wide debate about whether the US government should step in to save the creatures from extinction.
Dr Malcolm is one of countless witnesses at a US Senate hearing into the polarising issue, and advises against saving the animals.
All seems lost when the Senate agrees with him.
That is until Claire is suddenly contacted by John Hammond’s former partner, Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell), who along with aide Eli Mills (Rafe Spall), is planning a covert rescue operation.
Claire somehow convinces her ex and former velociraptor trainer, Owen Grady (funnyman Chris Pratt), to go along for the ride.
His role is to help catch and save the raptor he had an unusual affinity with, called “Blue”.
The plan, as tends to happen, quickly goes awry.
The rescue mission isn’t quite what it seems and the island’s volcano starts to blow.
It is up to Claire, Owen and a team of unlikely but plucky allies to set things right again.
While the T-Rex and the terrifying Indoraptor are impressive on-screen threats, the Fallen Kingdom film really fails to bite with its predictable, mincing bad guys.
Once famed geneticist Dr Henry Wu (BD Wong), who was in the very first Jurassic Park film hatching baby raptors, seems to have learned nothing since 1993.
Similarly, Russian arms dealers and Mr Mills are caricature baddies who really lack credibility as a result.
Things also get a bit weird and murky when it comes to Mr Lockwood and his hidden daughter, Maisie (Isabella Sermon).
Despite all this, there are plenty of jump-in-your-seat moments and it is quite funny in parts.
Suspend belief but for jurassic thrills, you cannot go wrong.